Wen Qi

Been long since I last wrote to this little blog of mine after I have made it into private. Can't wait to change my blogskin but I don't know how to. ._.

I guess things are fine as for now. Those who cherish me would make effort to stay in my life. I can't control their actions. I will cherish and treat everyone sincerely so that at least at the end of the day when they leave, I can say that I have tried my best, it's not within my control. :)

There are some people whom I am grateful that they are still in my life till now. My mum, sis, bro, Belle and Weijia. Family is always there for you. Belle and Weijia have been my best friends since primary school and although we all are heading towards different paths of life, we never grow apart. I do still feel being myself in front of them. Although our personalities are VERY different, all these differences never stop us from being sisters for life. I hope they would forever stay in my life till I die. Because I know no other girls that I meet in the future can replace them, those two that watch me grow from a young, ignorant and impulsive girl to a mature young adult.

Throughout all these years, I have neglected Xiangqi, my first best friend in Singapore. My best friend since primary 1. However we drifted away ever since we stepped into our secondary school journey. I guess the amount of time we spent during that 4 years is 200 times less than the amount of time I spend with Belle and Weijia. Now, she doesn't treat me as her best friend anymore. She no longer love me, as a friend or a sister. Is it too late to regret now? I hope not. I promise I will spend more time with her after my A levels. Once per week. Haha hope I still remember when A level ends.

Other than these 3 girls as mentioned, there are many many more people who were once my good friends. They came and left, without leaving any foot prints. I regretted not cherishing some of them. But I will always remember them. People like Wilson, Bernard, Enquan, Linda, Shiru, Agnes, Justina, Anthony, Jiahui, Xuehui, Jiada and Dylan. As for Leonard and Terence? All I can say is, once they became your ex-boyfriend, all the things before that were seen differently. I can no longer treat them as how I treated them before. I.. even hate Terence. For being so irresponsible. But I am really glad this had became the past. If I am given the chance to choose again, I would choose Wilson or Jiada before him (other than SX of course). This is the biggest stain/mistake of my life. But it's OK, I have learnt from my mistake and I won't repeat again. Instead, I should thank him for this life lesson.

Now I am in J2. Starting from this year, I feel drifted from the usual clique of people I always hang out with. I feel so out of place. Sometimes I don't even know what are they talking about. All because of different subject combinations = different timetable. The closest one, I would say is Miaoching. I feel comfortable going out with her, but I don't feel that she put me as one of her most important friends. It's normal, I guess. It's just 2 years in JC, very hard to gain friends that stay in my life for life.

At the end of 2010, Szexin entered my life. He changed my whole life completely. He made me laugh. He made me cry. I gave him chances, one time and another time. The reason why I forgive him everytime is because I still want him to stay in my life. But I don't understand how can he bear to do things that hurt me? Even though he know I would be very very sad?.. I can't let him go. I can't let him go through all these alone... But I don't know how far can I take all these. I am already trying my very best. So God, please bless us. I just want a simple life with the one I love.

Overall, life's still treating me good... I don't have a complete family, but I will make sure my children will. I will work hard for it. Now it's few more months to the big A. Endure and work hard. Everything will be worth it.